I AM having awesome sex with a gorgeous guy. DEAR DEIDRE:
At first he insisted we should be friends with benefits and he now wants to meet up outside the bedroom. But do I stand to get hurt?
I’d broken up from a long-term relationship and was on a bit of a sex hunt, so I messaged this bloke one night.
We had previously met two years before and we really hit it off but nothing ever came of it back then.
I knew I wanted sex with him. It was something I had thought about for a while.
I am a woman of 26, he is 27 and a total hunk, a sex god.
We arranged to meet but from the outset, he told me he wanted to be friends with benefits and with more than one person.
I accepted, thinking I wanted only to have sex with him and nothing more.
The sex is brilliant but as time has gone on, I have realised we have a lot more in common and laugh at everything together.
We both talk about dates we have been going on with other people.
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We talk only when we meet up, though. When arranging to meet to have sex, our communication is just by text messages.
Other than that, it’s the odd Snapchat here or WhatsApp message there.
Still, he recently told a friend he had never had banter with another girl like he has with me.
And he has recently asked me to meet up with him outside the bedroom.
We’ve now had a couple of fun evenings out together but I know he is still actively pursing other girls and wants to have sex with other people.
I can’t tell if it’s just that I want to win this “game”, or if I am genuinely interested in him.
Should I just cut my losses and leave it all behind, even though the sex is great and I am having lots of fun?
I worry because I could end up getting hurt.
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He does sound to be more interested in you than as just a sex mate but that is a long way from committing to a faithful relationship, which is where your feelings are leading you. DEIDRE SAYS:
You do stand to get hurt by going on like this. What have you got to lose by being honest? Say being so casual is not your scene any more.
If he has any serious feelings for you, he will soon be asking for more. Then you can tell him you want a real relationship. Focus on your other friends anyway.
Of course socialising is almost impossible at present and your health and that of your family must come first, but best save your heart for a future guy who will commit 100 per cent.
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