Woman admits she doesn't want to take her stepchild on her honeymoon

Bride-to-be who plans to take her daughter, 3, on honeymoon and leave her ‘sneering’ teenage stepdaughter at home – is warned ‘playing favourites’ could ruin family dynamics forever

  • Bride-to-be is torn over whether to bring her teen stepdaughter on honeymoon 
  • She is bringing her three-year-old daughter with them due to lack of childcare  
  • Didn’t want 15-year-old to go because always sneered at their taste in activities
  • But she was warned choosing one child over the other could cause a lasting rift 

A bride-to-be has divided opinion after she revealed she didn’t want to bring her teenage stepdaughter on her honeymoon with her despite agreeing to take her three-year-old child. 

The unnamed woman, from the UK,  took to Mumsnet to explain she had been saving for a long time to go on a honeymoon that had been delayed several times due to illness and the pandemic. 

She revealed the couple were bringing their young daughter with them because they didn’t have adequate childcare.

The woman said the teenager, who her husband shares with her ex, always makes fun of her choice of activities and had previously cancelled holiday plans with them at the last minute.  

A bride-to-be has split opinion after she revealed she didn’t want to bring her teenage stepdaughter on her honeymoon with her despite agreeing to take her three-year-old child. Stock image 

While some agreed it was fine to take one child and not the other, others warned the blatant ‘favouritism’ could damage family dynamics forever. 

The unnamed bride to be explained she had ‘really been looking forward to her wedding and the honeymoon’, which had been several years in the making. 

She explained the couple had ‘splashed out’ on two weeks at a luxury resort, because they hadn’t been on a holiday in three years, and that they had no choice but to bring her daughter on the honeymoon because she didn’t have any suitable childcare option. 

The bride added her fiance’s daughter spent every other weekend with them, and one or two nights with them per week, and sometimes went on holiday with them. 

‘We always include her in holiday plans but she often changes her mind last minute if she gets a better offer from her mum’s side of the family who are extremely wealthy,’ she said. 

‘Anything we plan to do is always met with scorn and open sneering, clearly reiterates from the mum’s side of the family.  

‘This ranges from something as small as a cake we offer “I only eat really good quality cakes from specialist bakeries” to bigger things. I know she is only mimicking behaviour she’s observed but it gets wearing. She has siblings but they are older, have moved out of home and rarely visit,’ she said. 

The woman explained the teen had been difficult to deal with, and that she knew she wouldn’t enjoy her honeymoon if she came 

‘The trip is costing us a lot. I know it would be one of the few things we do up to dear step-daughter standards and she would probably like to come but it won’t feel anything like a honeymoon to me with her there, ignoring her sibling and demanding everything is done her way. I know I will not enjoy it.  

‘And of course there is always the risk she will decide not to come last minute if her other family come up with something more interesting (it’s happened before). And its way too much money to lose.    

‘The thing is I know most of dear step-daughter’s behaviour is coming from a place of anxiety at being replaced, she’s a young 15 and not very fair to hold her accountable.

People’s opinions were split, from those who told the woman to lie, to others saying to book during the school term to give an iron-clad reason for the teenager not being included

‘I know it would send a strong message that she’s as important as our dear child to include her in the plans. But I know I won’t have a good time. So my dilemma really is do the right thing or do the selfish thing.’

People said she shouldn’t be bringing any child to the honeymoon.  

‘I wouldn’t invite either child, l know that’s not what you have asked but it’s a honeymoon. Life is too short l think, relax and properly enjoy yourself child free,’ one said.  

‘To be honest, I would tell her a white lie. Say Granny is having your dear daughter. Then just pretend it went wrong at the last moment, this way dear stepdaughter can’t kick up a fuss,’ one said. 

People said the mother should bring the teen with her if she was bringing the three-year-old and said to either bring both children or none

‘I wouldn’t take one child without the other. Offer to take both or take none,’ another wrote. 

‘But for a teen watching her father get married and then take the new baby (which she is already insecure about) on honeymoon without her will feel like favouritism and really impact that relationship badly,’ they went on. 

‘She will feel replaced and displaced by you and the little one and no amount of rational conversation will stop those feelings,’ they added.  

‘If you’re taking a three year old you aren’t having an adult only sexy honeymoon and she will know that too,’ they concluded. 

‘I wouldn’t invite either child, l know that’s not what you have asked but it’s a honeymoon. Life is too short l think, relax and properly enjoy yourself child free,’ one said. 

‘Book during school term, problem solved then. She has plenty of holidays with her other family by the sounds of it so I don’t think this is an issue,’ one offered.  

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