Your Sex Horoscope for the Weekend

What’s happening: Tonight, Mercury, planet of communication, forms an awkward quincunx aspect to Saturn, planet of blockages. On Tuesday, Venus (which is still retrograde, BTW) forms a harsh square to Mars—these are the love planets (Venus governs romance and relationships, while Mars governs libido), and this week, they’re at war with each other. Finally, on Wednesday, there’s a cazimi Venus, which in English means that you’ve survived to the halfway point of Venus Retrograde, and you’re able to figure out how to push through all that relationship drama you’ve been experiencing!

What that means:

Aries

There’s an important talk you’ve been meaning to have with your boo/crush lately, and it’s gnawing away at your brain. You feel like you’re going absolutely crazy—but there is simply never a good time to bring it up! The tension and awkwardness is permeating life in the bedroom, too, and you probs feel pretty miserable. Your thoughts and feelings are eating you alive this weekend, and you feel like you’re going to blow up by Tuesday. You’re more than ready to pop off over every minor disagreement, but listen, Aries. Don’t. Do. It. Wednesday’s astro-vibe is by far the easiest we’ve had in a long-ass time, and you can bring up whatever’s been bugging you tactfully.

Taurus

You and your boo aren’t on the same page—in fact, you have different ideas about your relationship status. If you’ve been casually (and safely) hanging out with someone, they might think you’re an item. If you’ve been boo’d up for a long time, you might think things with bae are fine, but they’re stressed about the relationship (or vice-versa). These differences make themselves apparent over the next week, and honey, you’ve got a big storm coming! Instead of being passive (or passive aggressive), try your best to communicate—and listen to what the other person has to say. You’re as stubborn as they come, but this week you learn that a little compromise goes a long way, especially when it comes to relationships.

Gemini

Whenever Venus is in your sign (like it is right now), it’s a great time for love, pleasure, and beauty. But whenever Venus is retrograde (again, like it is right now), all those things get jumbled up and confusing AF. With Venus Retrograde acting up in your sign, your love life’s been pretty sour, and you’re probs not feeling too great about yourself, either. This week, your love life is kinda dry, NGL, but think of it as a great opportunity to focus on loving yourself. Get to know your body and what makes you feel good. *wiggles eybrows* Update your wardrobe, and only pick out clothes you like. This weekend is the best time to explore new ways to practice self-care and feel good. And as you focus on loving yourself, you’ll see an increase in confidence. You’ll start to radiate charisma, making it easier for you to attract others by just being yourself—and that, Gemini, is when your love life will start to blossom and bloom.

Cancer

Life in the bedroom has been getting tougher lately, and even though you’re desperately trying to address the issues, finding the words is proving to be a monumental challenge. When it comes to any kind of drama or conflict, you tend to shuffle away and hide in your shell, but things are getting so tense now that you feel ready to lash out with your claws—but hold on, Cancer! If you haven’t spoken up about these issues, then it’s completely unfair for you to pop off out of nowhere, right? Mercury, the planet of communication, just entered your sign, allowing you to speak your mind without making a scene. So just talk to your partner. If the issue is something as simple as, “When you do y, it doesn’t make me feel good,” you’ll be shocked at how easy it is to find a solution. Side note: you might run into an ex this week. If you’re tempted to blow up at them, try to stay tactful. You’ll be able to find the closure you’ve been needing and walk away from the situation without anyone feeling hurt.

Leo

If you’ve been sexting with someone in your squad lately, some tension may emerge this weekend as the two of you discover that you have WILDLY different ideas about your relationship status. You’ll do anything to avoid unnecessary conflict, but listen, Leo, you need to have that tough conversation and set the record straight. That way, you can either A) DTR with your FWB and start a real LTR, B) agree that keeping things casual between the two of you is best, or C) cut things off, but still keep your friendship in one piece. This type of convo is tough, yes, but one moment of discomfort now can save you a ton of stress in the future, feel me? These sentiments ring true for the boo’d up Leos, too. You and bae are seeing the relationship totally differently, and it’s up to you to speak your mind and say you want to find a solution. By the end of the week, you and your partner will have worked it all out, and you’ll share the same vision of the future of your relationship, too. Even though Venus Retrograde is trying to mess with your love life, things will be way easier from here on out.

Virgo

As much as you love a fixer-upper, this weekend finds you realizing that you can’t fix other people, and that includes your partner. You may view your relationship as a direct reflection of who you are as a person, and when it isn’t going exactly how you’d like it to, you go into panic mode and try to “solve” everything. You see it as a labor of love, but JSYK, when you try to make someone else fit your idea of a perfect partner, you’ll end up pushing them away. You feel like you need to go overboard with the criticism this weekend, like turning a sink full of dishes into a fight about everything they always do wrong. And they might retaliate. So take a minute and think about it, Virgo. You and your partner are two different people with different likes, different love languages, and different relationship goals, and that’s okay. Instead of mindlessly bickering, understand that no relationship is flawless. If there’s an actual problem, neither of you are 100% to blame, but you both need to put in 100% of your energy to find a solution.

Libra

You’re struggling to take your relationship/situationship to the next level. Even if you’re having fun with your crush/boo and there are no major problems, you feel stuck. Sure, there’s some romance, but not much. Sure, the sex is good, but you’d really like it to be great, wouldn’t you? Sure, there’s real chemistry between the two of you, but you want to feel like it’s magical, right? If you feel like you’re just going through the motions at this point, it’s because you are, Libra. You need to try something new—a new plan for your next date night, a new position or toy in the bedroom, literally anything to add variety. Do something fun to initiate newness in your relationship, and see what happens! You may find that things drastically improve—or might be a total flop. If it is, I’m not saying that you should dump them on the spot (seriously, don’t do that), but it might be a good idea to consider taking a break and trying someone new to make your love life exciting again.

Scorpio

There are some sexual incompatibilities coming up this week, Scorpio. What turns you on might be one of their biggest turn-offs. What used to be your favorite way to get down and dirty with ‘em might not really do it for either of you anymore. You might be feeling frisky and start lovin’ up on your boo, only to be rejected, or even face performance issues in bed (from them or you!). Regardless of the circumstances, you feel like your sex life is totally flopping. As a fixed sign, you’re very stuck in your ways, and you’d rather just ignore the issue and do your thing, but that is not the best way to deal, Scorpio. Mars is in Pisces right now, making you feel especially averse to anything stressful, but you have got to do something about these problems! Speak your mind. Listen to what your partner has to say. Put forth some effort to work together and figure out new, better ways to enjoy each other in bed. Even if it’s weird or awkward at first, you’re totally capable of figuring it out, and once you do, getting it on with your boo will become a more intense, erotic, and intimate experience.

Sagittarius

Even if you’ve been married to your boo for years, your sign always has trouble with fully committing, Sagittarius—and we don’t necessarily mean to a relationship. You hate to feel like you’re stuck in one place or are restricted from doing what you please, and lately you’ve really been struggling. This obviously has a lot to do with the state of the world right now, but still, you might feel your instinct to hightail it outta there kicking in. This feeling is totally eating you alive, and it’s killing you. Pushing your boo away, acting flaky, or just being unresponsive is not how you should handle this situation, Sagittarius. It’s okay to ask for space—your partner will likely give it to you! It really is that simple.

Capricorn

Getting your partner to just un 👏 der 👏 stand 👏 what 👏 you 👏 are 👏 saying 👏 feels like a struggle right now, and you’ve just about had enough! Your relationship wants/needs aren’t matching up with theirs. If you feel like being romantic is far more effort than it’s worth, or if having sex is beginning to feel like a chore, that’s because you’re treating your relationship like a job. You can’t do that, Capricorn! If your relationship seems bland, find a way to spice it up. Do something different on your next date night, send some sexy snaps, write them a love letter, hell, I don’t know, just do something! We’re living in pretty boring times now, but you can have a ton of fun with your boo if you just put forth some effort, Capricorn. Even a spur-of-the-moment activity or surprise will work wonders for your relationship. Your partner will appreciate it and pay it forward later—that way, things will never feel this stale again!

Aquarius

Day-to-day stress is really, really getting to you right now, Aquarius. You’re feeling tons of pressure in your love life, but finding a solution feels impossible! You’re snapping at your boo over the littlest things, you’re never in the mood for sex, and you just need a freakin’ break. Even if you feel like you’re drowning in work and your obligations are just way too much to handle, take a day—just one day—this weekend to set everything to the side and focus on you. Binge your fav Netflix series, read your favorite book, masturbate, buy something new, watch aaaaallllll the makeup tutorials on YouTube and try them out on yourself, whatever makes you happy. Just one day of self-care will do wonders, not only for your day-to-day, but for your relationship, too.

Pisces

You’re reeeaaaally living up to your inconsistent, wishy-washy stereotype right now, Pisces. You’re struggling to commit to your crush/partner/FWB because you can’t make up your mind about how you feel about them. You’re like, totally in love with them one minute, but then, in the blink of an eye, you’re so over it and want nothing to do with them. Whether this is happening with your long-term partner or someone more casual doesn’t matter—that kind of behavior just isn’t cool, period. If you’re confused about your feelings, just tell them. If you’re not ready to commit, let ‘em know. If you need space, you have to speak up. Otherwise, the two of you will end up feeling even more unsure. You love love, but acting this way will only lead to you having no one to share it with. It sounds harsh, I know, but this week’s astro-weather is asking you to check yourself before you wreck yourself! Once you can give yourself time to process your emotions and figure everything out, you’ll feel much better, and your love life will dramatically improve, too.


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