24/09/2023

CLARE BALDING: I've searched high and low but I can't find a dog

CLARE BALDING: I’ve spent three years searching high and low but I can’t find a dog who can match my spoilt, willful terrier Archie

Can we get a dog?’ That was the only request I had when I got together with my now wife, Alice. She had a lot of questions for me – a whole checklist of them.

No, I didn’t want children; yes, I did want to travel; no, I didn’t want to move out of London; yes, I would improve my golf (which was terrible); and yes, I would support her work.

All I wanted to know was whether we could have a dog, but to me that was a commitment more important than asking someone to marry me. Not that we were allowed to do that in 2002 but still, the idea of finding someone with whom I could share a dog was my dream. Alice promised me we could.

So it was that Archie, a black and white Tibetan terrier, came into our lives. For 15 years he was the key member of our family. When we visited the kennels to pick a puppy, Archie dominated his litter, climbing all over them to come and say hello to us.

He kissed me as I held him, which of course I thought was a sign that he had picked us. His confidence probably should have been a warning of the issues we would later have with his dominance. He thought he was top dog.

Can we get a dog?’ That was the only request I had when I got together with my now wife, Alice. She had a lot of questions for me – a whole checklist of them

He came on staycations with us to smart hotels where he wasn’t meant to sleep on the bed – yeah right, try telling that to a spoilt and wilful terrier – and he occasionally accompanied me when I was recording Ramblings for Radio 4, although my producer Lucy wasn’t that keen on him. This was mainly Archie’s fault, because he had tried to bite her once.

When Archie hated someone, he was all in, but when he loved he was equally committed. He is still the screensaver on my phone. One day I guess I’ll change the photo, but it just doesn’t feel right yet.

He died during the lockdown summer of 2020, when we had to make the decision to have him put down. It happened during very tight Covid restrictions, so we couldn’t go into the vet’s surgery to be with him, but maybe that was for the best. I would have cried uncontrollably and that would have upset him.

Instead, we entrusted him into the arms of his vet, Vesi, and she gently took him away from us. He always loved the vet’s surgery because he knew he would get a treat, so he wagged his tail as she lifted him up and he looked very happy to be going inside.

Even though he’s been gone for nearly three years, I think about him every day. He was not a perfect dog but God, I miss him and I miss everything a dog brings to daily life – the walks on a frosty morning, the gatherings in the park with fellow owners for a 10am coffee, the enthusiastic greeting when I come home. Anyone who has ever loved and lost a dog will appreciate the huge hole you feel when you go to make breakfast in the kitchen for a dog that is no longer there.

I am fascinated by the characteristics dogs bring out in us, how they influence our choice of friends, how we live, where we go on holiday and the sort of jobs that we want to do. So for my new book, Isle Of Dogs, I decided to travel across Britain meeting owners, breeders and dog experts, finding out as much as I could about our canine companions.

My other, more personal, quest was to find another dog to make our little family complete. I had no intention of rushing that decision, but if it was a by-product of visiting so many doggy people and places, then I would consider it serendipity.

One of the perks of having presented Crufts for nearly two decades on TV is that I have seen every breed of dog and I try to remember as many of them as I can.

At the start of the 19th Century, there were fewer than 20 known breeds of dogs across the UK. A century later, that had tripled, and now it is estimated that across the world there may be as many as 400 different breeds. With so many to choose from, how do you find ‘the one’?

One of the perks of having presented Crufts for nearly two decades on TV is that I have seen every breed of dog and I try to remember as many of them as I can

The oldest domesticated dog in the world is believed to be the greyhound. It is the only breed of dog mentioned in the King James version of the Bible, and also the only one to appear in both Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales and Shakespeare’s plays

Archie was perfect for us because Tibetan terriers don’t shed hair, which is essential as Alice is allergic to animal hair. They are small enough to pick up but strong enough to go on long walks. They are intelligent, loyal and full of character. They are good guard dogs but don’t yap without cause.

But which breed to choose this time round? My grandmother always had a labrador. The one I knew best, Chico, was so ruled by his stomach that he would open the fridge and help himself to a shoulder of ham or a lamb chop. My grandmother had to put a bicycle padlock around the door handles.

Britain’s devotion to labradors was illustrated during lockdown when two labs called Olive and Mabel became internet sensations. My friends Andrew Cotter and Caroline Short – Caroline used to work with me as a producer on Radio 5 Live – are their proud parents.

Andrew is a sports commentator. He made short films commentating on the daily action of his dogs, describing with gravitas the two of them eating their breakfast, jumping in the lake, playing with their toys or going to the beach. The public loved watching their adventures, viewing the videos more than 100 million times.

I pretend that the reason I go and stay with Andrew and Caroline is because it’s handy when I’m in Salford for work. It’s not that handy at all, but I like seeing the dogs. When Caroline and I take them for a walk in the local woods, people say, ‘Gosh, those dogs look just like Olive and Mabel from the internet.’

It’s a bit like when people say to me, ‘You look just like Clare Balding.’ ‘Really?’ I say. ‘So much like her but not as …’ I wait for the inevitable. ‘Not as big.’ Well, that’s always charming. I’ll make sure to pass that on when I see her.

‘All labradors are cheery souls – they are life’s great optimists,’ Andrew told me. Alice has pointed out that most people would say I resemble a bouncy labrador and that’s a fairly accurate description. I talk to every dog I see, ask the owner about its breeding and usually correctly identify it even if it’s an unusual crossbreed. Alice often has to drag me away and remind me that not everyone wants to talk.

Lovely as labs are, I worry that owning them is a bit unoriginal. Case in point: on their way back from a holiday with dog-loving friends in Wales, my brother and his wife Anna Lisa called their labrador Henry to get into the boot of the car. The dog duly obliged and off they went. As they got on to the M4, the phone rang. It was their friends saying, ‘I think you’ve got our dog.’ They had to turn back to complete the swap. I don’t want to be too rude, but if you can’t tell which one is your dog, what’s the point? How about a whippet, then? The prettiest whippet I’ve ever met is again called Olive, and belongs to actress, comedian and writer Jennifer Saunders. She came into Jennifer’s life in 2010 and she was a much-needed pick-me-up. ‘It was after I’d had my breast cancer and I thought: ‘My treat will be to have a dog,’ ‘ Jennifer recalls.

Olive adapts to London life when necessary and loves it in Devon, where Jennifer and her husband, Ade Edmondson, have a home.

In many ways, Olive is perfect. The one downside to her temperament is that, like James Bond, underneath that charming, sleek exterior she is a trained killer. ‘She’s not very good with small animals, particularly squirrels,’ Jennifer tells me.

Olive is very biddable but when the ‘squirrel red mist’ descends, she ignores everything else. Whippets are born and bred to seek, catch and kill and I’m not sure our cats, Eric and Button, would appreciate having one in the house. They’re a beautiful breed but not quite the new dog for us.

King Charles and Queen Camilla seem to agree. They are both committed dog lovers and have broken new ground by adopting two Jack Russell terriers from Battersea

I recently went to the Dogs Trust just outside Newbury, near my family home, and met a friendly little chap called Percy. I’d say he is a cross between a dachshund and a Yorkshire terrier. Of course I was tempted to take him home, but I knew he’d be adopted soon. I have, however, developed a habit of scanning the Dogs Trust pages to keep an eye on what’s going on.

They are the fastest of all dogs, with a top speed of 40-45 mph, and have been revered and celebrated for over 8,000 years. In Ancient Egypt, when a favourite greyhound died, it would be mummified and placed in the family tomb of the wealthy and influential.

To find out more about their character, Alice and I went to see our friend and fellow broadcaster Fi Glover, the guardian of a former racing greyhound called Nancy. I say guardian, because if you adopt a greyhound, you are never the ‘owner’, you are the adopter for life.

When we arrive, I can see Nancy through the stained glass of the front door. She is huge – refined, sleek and incredibly muscular, with the thighs of a gymnast or a dancer.

‘Wouldn’t you want to have those muscles with only three-and-a-half minutes of exercise a day?’ Fi asks. ‘That’s literally all she does. One pounding run when we go out but if I try and walk her for more than 40 minutes, she sits down. No stamina.’

magdelaine.net

CLARE BALDING: I've searched high and low but I can't find a dog

CLARE BALDING: I’ve spent three years searching high and low but I can’t find a dog who can match my spoilt, willful terrier Archie

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